You Know You're A Soccer Player When....

You Know You're A Soccer Player When...
- Your Jeans Dont Fit Around Your Massive Leg Muscles
- Whenever You Have To Write An Essay On A Hero, You Pick Lionel Messi.
- You Accidentaly Kick The Ball When You're Playing Other Sports
- The Most Important Cross, in your life, Is In Front Of The Goal.
- You Have 3 Bottles of Advil In Your Locker, Bag, And Car.
- During finals you write in Lallis.
- Your neighbors call 911 because you haven't left your house day or night during World Cup
- Your trunk has at least one ball and a pair of cleats
- Something you own is named after a soccer player
- You have soccer posters somewhere in your house
- You bring soccer socks for iceskating
- All your non-school clothing has three stripes or an Umbro brand name
- You can recognize ex-players by the way they move & look
- The only way you pick up a ball for a friend is with your feet
- You've accidently gotten a foul in another sport from kicking the ball
- You can recognize fellow soccer players by their walk, their legs, their clothes and their car.
- You strive to find pickup games
- You can honestly use both feet equally
- You know more than 6 ways to pickup a ball
- You do rainbows with the basketball at the gym
- You stretch even when you aren't working out
- You have year round blisters or shin splints
- You keep an extra Tshirt and shorts in your car just in case
- You judge people's abilities by where they grew up, who they play for, and where they play in HS
- You've had at least 3 bad coaches
- You've traveled somewhere more than 3 hours away for a tournament
- You have every color, style, and size tournament Tshirt from all the years
- You've played goalie, at least once
- When looking at colleges, you checkout the opposite sex soccer team as well
- At least one of your previous relationships has been with a soccer player
- You judge a person's skills by if you like their number or not.
- You have old hotline numbers in your phone
- People know you just as well by your last name
- You get away with having different color shoe laces on your boots
- You have prewrap and tape with you almost always
- You either hate the tuck, or always have it in completley
- Your first instinct when something is coming at you is to trap it or head it back
- All you bring to a pickup game is your cleats and a pair of footies
- You constantly have bad tan lines
- When you drop something, you try to settle it
- Even when someone says football you think soccer.
- You can go hard for 90 minutes, and know 11 differnt positions
- You keep dropping stuff because you think it's a penalty to touch it.
- When your goalie gloves cost more than a laptop.
- 200 bucks on cleats doesnt even phase you
- You cringe when someone rolls their athletic shorts more than once
- On Monday you never fail to have a plethora of new bruises to show off, as well as a story behind each
- You choose your guys based on how good they are at the sport
- If someone says "my knee hurts" you ask where. then correctly diagnose the problem
- Its 65 degrees out and you think its the perfect temperature
- Your favorite feeling in the world is slide tackling on dewey grass
- Hair stops growing on your legs where your guards go
- Your forearms, knees, and face are the only tan parts of your body
- Whenever something, anything is flying towards your face, you try to head it instead of catching it.
- You're immune to the smell of shinguards, boots and gloves.
- A mile run is nothing compared to a game.
- You realize MLS isn't real soccer.
- You've spent your free time thinking of comments critizing a refs call.
- You're closet is filled with spandex.
- All white soccer clothes are stained, but you still wear them.
- You have more soccer shoes than regular shoes.
- You're outside in 30 degree weather, it's snowing and you're pissed becuase there's only 5 minutes left in the game.
- You own at least one ankle brace
- When you're the only person in your class who believes Beckham, Ronaldo, and Ronaldinho aren't the best
- When you hear "predators" you think of the boots not the animal!
- When the first thing you do in a fight is kick and break the legs, or headbutt them in the sternum.
- When you can put the basketball in the hoop quicker with your feet than your hands
- When you realize you have nasty feet, but are even more surprised when you realize that you don't care.
- You know you're a soccer player when you go to play soccer in the snow.......at -25
- When the football team comes after you to make you kick for them
- You buy glow in the dark balls so you can play in the dark
- When you are willing (and almost excited) to play in the freezing rain and hail in March.
- Juggling has a completely different meaning to you
- When diving doesnt mean a sport, it means an unforgiveable sin
- When you saw the display picture for the group and wished you lived there
- When you still have your first pair of gloves/shoes/uniform
- When you can use the smell of your gloves as a weapon
- When you have seen the movie "Big Green" too many times to count, and will never get too old for it
- Showing off your scarred shins or knees in shorts/skirts doesn't even faze you
-(for girls) When you go to get your hair cut, and you tell the lady it has to be long enough for a ponytail.
- When the teacher tells you to get something out to read, and you pull out the latest Eurosport magazine.
- When you get pissed at your mom for washing your gloves after you're 4th consecutive shutout "because they stink"
- When "because they stink" is not an excuse to wash your gloves/shin pads
- When your entire car is littered with water bottles from games.
- When you can name every one of your coaches you've had since you were 5.
- When you have the same pre-game ritual for # of games because you haven't lost.
- When you have more friends from playing than from your own school.
- When you can't walk around your town without someone asking how the game went.
- When at least one of your bags is devoted to your soccer stuff.
- When you have ball marks that are still there the next day.
- When younger kids start talking to you about one of your games even though you don't know their names.
- When you use your boots until you have to tape them to play.
- When after you tape them you play one more game because you scored the game before
- You say "its a nice day," when it's pouring rain
- People constantly compliment you on your perfectly toned "soccer legs!"
- When you go to the beach and your legs are three different shades of tanned.
- When there is no such thing as a "grass-only" ball because you play where ever when ever
- You watched all the Joga Bonito videos at least 3 times.
- You can juggle the ball over 30 times.
- You could be in the middle of the desert, but be fine if you had a soccer ball
- You wear tight shorts and don't mind all the nice legs comments.
- You don't smoke because you need your stamina in a game
- After you pass the goalie, you bend down just to header the ball in.
- You can balance a soccer ball somewhere on your body for over an hour.
- People ask you if you work out, and you say "No, I play soccer"
- You trip people when they walk for no reason.
- You've watched old movies of Pele play.
- You hate it when you talk about futbol and retards think your talking about american football
- Your whole room looks spotless except for that spot where your boots go.
- You know most of your friends from soccer tournaments and competitions.
- Something falls, you pick it up with your feet, even if it's an eraser or an article of clothing.
- You know the name of the player when you see just the their number.
- Your parents didn't worry about you doing drugs because you were probably out all night playing soccer in a lit field.
- You know scoring a goal is almost as good as having sex.
- You know atleast 4 ways to pick up a soccer ball (NO HANDS)
- Your not impressed when watching someone juggle until they passed 500.
- You don't realize your pulling on the other guys shirt until he's on the floor and the ref is holding that yellow card.
- Your team ends up being family
- Your going to teach your kid to be a soccer God, and send videos of him/her to Man. United.
- You've either been to or are dying to go to a World Cup, even if your team didn't make it.
- A soccer game decides what your mood is going to be for the next couple of hours.
- When you dribble the soccer ball around the house all the time
- When you have Febreeze stocked in your bag, car, and room!!!
- When freshly cut grass seems too long
- You try to teach animals to play soccer
- You name your soccer balls after the greatest players of all time
- When you absolutely LOVE the smell of fresh cut grass
- When you hang out with your friends from soccer more than your friends from school
- When you can fluently say corner run and wall ball in three different languages
- When 90' above on the field doesn't phase you, 90' below on the field doesn't phase you and 90 MIN. ON THE FIELD doesn't phase you...OLAY!!!!
- When you don't think a Maradona is hard to pull off in a game like everyone else thinks
- When a half a bottle of febreeze doesn't get rid of the odor coming from your right shoe
- When your fridge is stacked with Gatorade and power bars and your freezer is full of ice packs
- When your mom has to hose you down in the backyard before letting your muddy ass into the house!
- You know you're a soccer player when you yell at the pro's on TV, telling them where to go, even though you know they can't hear you... but you wish they could.
- You know you're soccer player when you come out of a game with scratches all over your legs from sliding but you don't even notice it.
- You know you're a soccer player, when your MySpace, FaceBook, etc., is comprised mostly of short video clips of soccer bloopers from the FIFA World Cup, and other major matches.
-When the reffs know you by name.
- Your coach has to drag you off the field when you're hurt, and you're still saying "I can still play coach."
- When bruises, blisters, and blood are just part of your everyday routine
- If you yell at ESPN because they put poker on instead of the National Team
-When you randomly start trying to juggle/rainbow any object in sight
- When your hair just doesn't feel right if it's not in a ponytail.
- You scout "competition” for tryouts and games MONTHS in advance
- When you pass the neighbor's ball back with your feet, even if it's a basketball
- When you rush in for every loose ball in the box and coming out bleeding doesn't even matter to you.
- When all your toes have been stepped on, causing your toenails to fall out!!!
- You know you're a soccer player when reffs call you by your jersey number even when you aren’t playing
- When your favorite smell is new cleats
- When you can't wear shorts outside of soccer because you always have scrapes.
- When you've played with ten players. And actually won.
- You have disgusting "cleat feet"
- When you won't wash your uniform even though it smells bad becuase you won last game in it
- You will wear your lucky cleats until they literally fall apart on you on the field
- You buy the same pair of cleats just new ones over and over becuase you had a good season with them
- You have no life outside of soccer =))
- Give faints when you're cycling without realizing
- Use soccer tricks when you're in a crowd.. Eg.: wait for the opponent and then decide where to move..
- When you'd rather watch soccer clips than porn!

Yup, I'm DEFINATELY a soccer player 8-)