Have you ever had a day, where in the morning you're having a great time; the afternoon is pretty good too; but then evening comes and you feel completely lost? That just happened to me today, so that's why I'm writing, er, typing this.
This morning I got up, scared the kids again, but this time with an Obama mask. Jordan and Bailey screamed, but Madison's reaction was a tired, "You look weird." Bailey was ticked off that I scared her again, so they all chased me around the house, beating on me (3v1 when the 1 can't fight back in fear of physically hurting someone is quite challenging!). We all had a fun time this morning. Getting caught behind a train just before school, 5 minutes before the bell rang, didn't even bother me.
The freshmen took the books they had created for the second graders over to Old Mill Pond to read to them. So, our teacher decided that since it's the end of the year and the freshmen are gone so it's FINALLY quiet in the shop, we didn't have to do any work today. I still ended up working right through the end of the day on my portfolio. The portfolios count as our shop final, but I'm on National Technical Honor Society, so I'm exempt from all finals, so I don't know why I'm working so hard on it. Oh yeah. It's because I work extremely hard on everything I do! :-D
After school, I got yelled at by a senior: "HEY! What are you doing out here?! You're not a senior!" But I was in a good mood, so I just said "NTHS," smirked and sped off on my bike. Having senior privelages and being able to leave school early, before I'm even a senior, feels GOOD!
I made it home, had a snack, went searching to find my masks that Jordan and Bailey hid from me, and then got ready for soccer practice. Coach Tyler and I weren't sure exactly what we wanted to work on tonight, so we just kind of made it up as we went along. Then we scrimmaged Orett Williams's team and got our butts kicked! We finally ended practice, and one of my players (who reminds me a lot of Madison) went over to Orett and asked if she could practice with his team. Now I've lost another player. We started off with 10 players. Orett's team took Madison. Julia moved and no one can contact her. Ben is off in his own little world and we haven't seen him since he wouldn't listen to anyone and stand still for team pictures two weeks ago. And now Stella prefers Orett's team over our's.
I'm not sure why I got into coaching; at least why I got into coaching an intermediate team. I just don't work well with kids that young, that shy. I don't know what to do with some of the kids that won't listen to me (which is most of the team!). None of my plans for practice ever work, and now we're down to just winging it each practice. I wish I could coach a travel team. Those kids might have more dedication to the game and I could get them to work harder. I would understand how to deal with those kids better than the young group I have now. Maybe next season...
On my ride home, I became even more depressed. I was listening to songs like "Loser," "It's The Only One You've Got," "Be Like That," "Here Without You," and "Landing In London," all by 3 Doors Down. I started wondering, what's my point in life? I've accomplished so much in my life, but why do I feel so empty inside? I just don't get it. Why do I feel like crap now? I need someone to help me out, boost my spirits a bit. What am I around for?? I wasn't appreciated at home. I've made a kid here mad at me (Bailey). A kid I coach wants to be on another team. Can I do anything right???
This morning I got up, scared the kids again, but this time with an Obama mask. Jordan and Bailey screamed, but Madison's reaction was a tired, "You look weird." Bailey was ticked off that I scared her again, so they all chased me around the house, beating on me (3v1 when the 1 can't fight back in fear of physically hurting someone is quite challenging!). We all had a fun time this morning. Getting caught behind a train just before school, 5 minutes before the bell rang, didn't even bother me.
The freshmen took the books they had created for the second graders over to Old Mill Pond to read to them. So, our teacher decided that since it's the end of the year and the freshmen are gone so it's FINALLY quiet in the shop, we didn't have to do any work today. I still ended up working right through the end of the day on my portfolio. The portfolios count as our shop final, but I'm on National Technical Honor Society, so I'm exempt from all finals, so I don't know why I'm working so hard on it. Oh yeah. It's because I work extremely hard on everything I do! :-D
After school, I got yelled at by a senior: "HEY! What are you doing out here?! You're not a senior!" But I was in a good mood, so I just said "NTHS," smirked and sped off on my bike. Having senior privelages and being able to leave school early, before I'm even a senior, feels GOOD!
I made it home, had a snack, went searching to find my masks that Jordan and Bailey hid from me, and then got ready for soccer practice. Coach Tyler and I weren't sure exactly what we wanted to work on tonight, so we just kind of made it up as we went along. Then we scrimmaged Orett Williams's team and got our butts kicked! We finally ended practice, and one of my players (who reminds me a lot of Madison) went over to Orett and asked if she could practice with his team. Now I've lost another player. We started off with 10 players. Orett's team took Madison. Julia moved and no one can contact her. Ben is off in his own little world and we haven't seen him since he wouldn't listen to anyone and stand still for team pictures two weeks ago. And now Stella prefers Orett's team over our's.
I'm not sure why I got into coaching; at least why I got into coaching an intermediate team. I just don't work well with kids that young, that shy. I don't know what to do with some of the kids that won't listen to me (which is most of the team!). None of my plans for practice ever work, and now we're down to just winging it each practice. I wish I could coach a travel team. Those kids might have more dedication to the game and I could get them to work harder. I would understand how to deal with those kids better than the young group I have now. Maybe next season...
On my ride home, I became even more depressed. I was listening to songs like "Loser," "It's The Only One You've Got," "Be Like That," "Here Without You," and "Landing In London," all by 3 Doors Down. I started wondering, what's my point in life? I've accomplished so much in my life, but why do I feel so empty inside? I just don't get it. Why do I feel like crap now? I need someone to help me out, boost my spirits a bit. What am I around for?? I wasn't appreciated at home. I've made a kid here mad at me (Bailey). A kid I coach wants to be on another team. Can I do anything right???
You just need some direction, man. Instead of asking "why can't I do anything right" ask "what do I want to do". You are an overachiever and work hard at everything you do (psycho! :P) so you will succeed at what you want to do. All you really have to do is figure out what that is.
ReplyDeleteWhat you need to do is decide what you want to be then act like you are one. That way you will find out what your suposed to be earlier. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou could also try going to church. Sometimes that emptiness is there because even though you are doing everything right in life the thing that is missing is a relationship with God. You are always welcome to come with us to church.
ReplyDelete