Auction

We have tried everything we can do, but we are stuck.  The house sells tomorrow.  Some unlucky person is going to buy this house and is going to have to deal with us living in it for a short time.  As well as all the problems with this monster.  I hope to move sooner than later, but it is what it is.  Part of me wants to cry and another part want to sing.

Jason spoke to a job recruiter and the recruiter mentioned that there are plenty of jobs available in Utah.  And that he suspects Jason should actually make MORE than what we do now!  It's shocked and hopeful, but I won't get my expectations up, that's when I seem to get cocky and the Lord humbles me soon after.

We are putting all our faith and trust in God.  He is the one that is going to make this work.  I am so afraid of moving out there!  I know all my Utah friends and family might not like this, but these are MY feelings!  And you have a right to be offended.  I'm sorry if you are though.  I HATE the idea of moving to Utah!  I want my kids to experience so many things, and not one of them is being saturated in "Mormon culture."  I know there are good people everywhere, I just hope my kids are able to find them.  I HATE having to trust other people's kids to behave!  I know my kids friends here are good kids, I know the parents are good.  But out there....unknown!  My fear is that 'they' might just putting on airs to pretend that 'they' are "good Mormons" and then I let me guard down and BAM! I found out I shouldn't have been so trusting!  Please, don't think I think I'm perfect, or even a "good Mormon", I try my best, and that's what matters.  So maybe I have no reason to worry.....

My fear is more based in the teenagers, not the adults.  Teenagers who party on Saturday night and in white shirts on Sunday morning.  What if my kids get into that crowd, the "No one will know", "It's not hurting anyone", "We all do it" crowd.  Do I trust my kids, not really.  Do I trust other people's kids, not on my life! I know kids are going to try things, do things, need to cut apron strings.  But out here, in MA, we have a moral/religious connection that helps bind us.  When everyone else has the same moral/religious inclinations, then I'm afraid it will be that much easier for the kids to let those binds loosen.

Maybe I worry too much.  But, I don't think so.  My goal is to maintain my strong family connections.  With in our immediate, but also with the extended family.  Whether we do so through vacations, phone calls, or Skype.  I think if I keep my family strong then we will do fine.  But I relax on family stuff, then they will suffer.